spermbanker:

i met this pretty lady today who likes to sleep in plants

blshiit:

DO U NEED A STEPMOM?!?

sleeplvss:

A makeout session would be great right about now

bioterrors:

when you walk into the auditorium and your athlete son and his athlete best friend are preparing for a play by painting a wooden tree that is a part of the set

image

thatwetshirt:

preach

Being sick in Elementary: Yay home from school chicken noodle soup and movies
Being sick in high school: OH MY GOSH I'M GOING TO MISS A MATH NOTE AND THEN GET BEHIND IN ENGLISH AND THEN I'LL HAVE LATE MARKS OFF MY PRESENTATION AND I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL BECAUSE I'M GOING TO FAIL EVERYTHING AND DIE ALONE UNEDUCATED AND OLD AND NOT KNOWING HOW TO GRAPH A PARABOLA
College: did I have class today

korrakun:

my favorite college experience is when i had a 7am class and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy drink into his coffee said “i’m going to die” and drank the whole thing

all new covers for the US [already out] and the UK [coming in September]